Arizona, Cottonwood – It is illegal for a couple to have sex in a vehicle with flat wheels. The fine is doubled if the sex occures in the back seat.
Arizona – It is illegal for a man to cause his wife to become a prostitute.
And:
It is illegal for unmarried persons to have sex. The penalty is three years in prison.

Arkansas – Adultery is punishable by a $20 to $100 fine.
And:
It is illegal for a husband to place his wife in a brothel.

California – Adultery is punishable by a $1,000 fine and/or one year in prison.
And:
Husbands and wives are prohibited from having oral sex.
And:
It is illegal to import an Asian woman and make her a prostitute.
Oral and Anal Adults Sex Illegal States Laws
Connecticut – “Private sexual behavior between consenting adults” is still illegal in Connecticut.

Delaware – Only physicians and wholesale druggists may legally sell condoms.

Florida – Oral sex is punishable by a 20-year prison term.

Illinois – It is illegal for a husband and wife to have sex while out hunting or fishing on their wedding day.

Indiana – It is illegal to entice someone under 21 to masterbate.
And:
Male skating instructors are prohibited from having sex with their female students. However, there is no parrallel law preventing female skating instructors from having sex with their male students.

Kansas – Anal sex is punishable by a maximum six-month prison term.

Kentucky – Only physicians and other medical personnel may legally sell condoms. However, their “condom selling” license may not be publicly displayed.

Louisiana – Streaking is illegal, but only if the streaker intended on rousing anyone who saw him or her.

Maine – It is illegal for a husband to place his wife in a brothel.
And:
Condom sellers must obtain a license from the state and display their license at all times.
And:
Maine, Buckfield – It is illegal for a cab driver to charge a passenger a fare if the passenger had sex with the driver while on their way home from any place that sold liquor.

Maryland – Condom vending machines may only be installed in places where alcohol is served.
And:
Anal sex is punishable by a one to 10 year prison sentence.
And:
It is illegal to have oral sex with a person or an animal.

Michigan – It is illegal for a husband to place his wife in a brothel.
And:
It is illegal to masturbate. The penalty is five years in prison.
And:
Sex between unmarried consenting adults is punishable by a fine up to $5000 and/or up to five years in prison.

Minnesota, Alexandria – It is illegal for a man to have sex with his wife if his breath stinks of garlic, onions, or sardines. By law, the husband must brush his teeth if asked to by his wife.

Missouri – It is illegal for a husband to force his wife to work as a hooker on the streets.

Montana, Bozeman – Sex is illegal between two people who are naked on their front lawns after sundown.

Nebraska, Hastings – It is illegal for a man and woman to sleep together in a hotel when both are naked. Also, a couple may not have sex in the hotel unless they are both wearing plain white cotton nightshirs, which, by law, must be provide to them by the hotel.
Nebraska – Anal sex is illegal and punishable by a $5,000 fine and 10 years in prison.
And:
Only physicians may legally sell condoms.

Nevada Condoms are mandatory for sex with legal prostitute.

New Jersey – It is illegal for two men to masturbate in the presence of each other or to masturbate each other. The penalty is three years in prison.
New Mexico, Carlsbad – It is illegal for couples to have sex in a parked car or van while on their lunch break if they can be seen by passerby.
New Mexico – Oral sex is punishable by a two to 10 year prison term and a $5,000 fine.

New York – A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way.” A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

The New York City Transit Authority has ruled that women can ride the city subways topless. New York law dictates that if a man can be somewhere without a shirt, a woman gets the same right. The decision came after arrests of women testing the ordinance on the subways. A transit police spokesman said they would comply with the new rule, but “if they were violating any other rules, like sitting on a subway bench topless smoking a cigarette, then we would take action.” Smoking is not allowed in the subways.

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

North Carolina – It is illegal for a man to spy on a woman through a window. The same law restriction does not apply to women watching men or men wathcing men.

Ohio – Male skating instructors are prohibited from having sex with their female students. As in Indiana, this law does not apply to female skating instructors.

Oklahoma, Clinton – It is illegal to masturbate while watching a couple have sex in the backseat of a car at a drive-in theater.

Oregon, Willowdale – A husband may not use profanity while making love to his wife. The same is not true for his wife, who may cuss to her heart’s content when she’s with her loving husband.

Pennsylvania, Harrisburg – Female toll booth workers cannot have sex with male truck drivers in the confines of their toll booth.

Rhode Island – It is illegal for unmarried persons to have sex. The fine is $10.
And:
Oral sex is punishable by a seven to 10 year prison term.

South Carolina, Branchville – It is illegal for a couple to “lewdly or lasciviously romp” either in private, or in public. The fine is $500 fine and a five year prison sentence.
South Carolina – Anal sex is punishable by a $500 fine and a five year prison term.

South Dakota, Sioux Falls – It is illegal for a couple to have sex on the floor between two single beds in a hotel.
South Dakota – It is illegal for prostitutes to solicit customers from a covered wagon.
And:
Oral sex is punishable by a 10 year prison term.

Tennessee, Skullbone – It is illegal for a women to masturbate a man or perform oral sex on him while he is driving a car.

Texas – Sex between unmarried consenting adults is punishable by a $500 fine.
And:
Only a “registered pharmacist” may legally sell condoms. Anyone eles will be prosecuted for illegally practicing medicine.

Utah, Tremonton – It is illegal to have sex in an ambulance.
Utah – Oral sex is punishable by six months prison term and a $299 fine.

Vermont, Beanville – It is illegal for massage parlors to advertise on road maps.

Virginia, Norfolk – It is illegal to have sex while riding on the sidecar of a motorcycle.
Virginia – Adultery is punishable by a $20 to $100 fine.

Washington, D.C. – It is illegal for a man to cause his wife to become a prostitute.
Washington – It is illegal for a man to have sex with a virgin.

Wisconsin, Connorsville – It is illegal for a man to fire off a gun when his partner has an orgasm.

Wyoming, Newcastle – It is illegal for a couple to have sex while standing up in a market’s walk-in meat freezer.
Wyoming – It is illegal to entice or help someone under 21 to masturbate.
Loony Sexy Laws by Robert Wayne Pelton
The U.S.A. Book of Lists – Stephen J. Spignesi

Cartoon by Tobias Lunchbreath